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  McQueen's 'Armadillo' for the Armageddon

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  THAT disintegrating reptile frock

Maybe the disjointed seasons of fashion are to blame, but somehow Paris simultaneously feels like it happened way back in the annals of time, yet I can remember the shows (and the exhaustion) like it was only yesterday. This sense of disorientation is hardly helped by the fact that London has begun its latest round of Press days - showcasing S/S 2010 to press wearing A/W 2009 at the tail end (ostensibly) of British summer, 2009.

On Thursday last week it was the turn of two of Paris' heaviest hitters - Yves Saint Laurent and Alexander McQueen - to show us their latest sartorial propositions. In both cases, the 'show' was used to convey a strong message, with clothes destined undoubtedly for magazine racks rather than shop rails. I'm thinking of those leather-embroidered cherries and much raw-edged cotton drill at YSL - those frays will shore up many an 'haute provincial' story, but it's hard to imagine luxury good buyers investing in unravelling garments, really - and, indeed, the vast majority of Alexander McQueen's swashbuckling show-stopper of a collection. That said, with a show like McQueen's it's impossible to appreciate even a fraction of the clothing's construction values during the presentation. Luckily, his showroom was up first - and gave ample opportunity to inspect seams, curl hems and stick your head under a few of those incredible garments. As with a couture original, you indeed have to clamber under those hooped skirts and bury your face in the brocade to appreciate just how much work has physically gone into everything. Take those much-discussed 'Armadillo' shoes - which may have balanced the models on hefty platforms but were not, as early reports suggested, forcing them onto pointe. It was impossible to see during the show that the 'snakeskin' they were covered in was actually another example of the incredible custom-woven brocades McQueen 'engineered' to his garments, likewise giant squashy clutch-bags that resembled nothing less than a silken stingray about to strike. In the showroom, as predicted at the show, those incredible prints popped up again, in simple straight up-and-down jersey frocks or pleated chiffon show-stoppers. Nevertheless, let's not bandy about the word 'simple' too much - every single variation of print is individually engineered to each dress pattern, making a straightforward jersey number no less technically challenging than one of those show-stopping mini-crinis. That said, my favourite frock was a primo example of unmistakable couture-level craftsmanship - a kalaidoscopic python-meets-Poseidon jacquard whose very warp and weft disintegrates before your eyes from firm silk through to filmy chiffon, in a single custom-woven piece of fabric.